“By the inch it’s a synch, by the yard it’s hard.”
As we enter a new year and enjoy our time off work and school, most of us take stock of our lives and get excited at the prospect of a clean slate and another 12-months to get our shit together. We take out a piece of paper a write a BIG list of all the changes that we are going to make in our lives, we share our visions for new manifestations with friends and family and we make promises to ourselves that we are going to do this, that and the other. A few months pass and we lament at the prospect of it all being too hard and we slip back to where we were before all the seduction and excitement that came from our new years’ resolution.
So WHY does this happen?
For most of us it’s trying to change too much too quickly. Most of our new years’ resolutions are around breaking negative habits (adjusting diet, quitting smoking, negative thinking etc.) or creating positive habits (exercising more, mending relationships, positive thinking etc.). And habits are very hard to break or create in one hit. I read a few years back that it takes about three weeks to break a bad habit and about the same to create a good one. And I am not sure if this fact is true but one thing I do know, from my own experience, is that if you want to change anything in your life you have to change what you are doing. And the New Year is not the only time you need to do that if you want positive change to happen.
It must happen moment-by-moment, if it’s going to stick.
The results that we get from our lives are the sum total of the decisions we have made. Some decisions or choices that we make are positive or negative. The trick to breaking bad habits, and consequently getting what we want out of life, is to ask yourself at each critical moment “is this choice that I am about to make going to bring me closer to what I want or further away from it?” For example, let’s say you want to improve your grappling game because it’s the weakest part of your arsenal. You read the schedule and you circle the grappling classes for this month and decide that you will turn up. The day arrives for you to grapple and you have your gear ready and you slump into the sofa for 10 minutes before you head off. You channel surf and come across a show that hooks your attention. What do you do? Most will convince themselves to watch the show and do grappling next week. And while this decision may seem harmless and no big deal - what has it done internally? It has engrained a bad habit. You made a decision that will take you further away from being better at grappling. And while it may seem insignificant to miss one grappling session think of all the other seemingly insignificant little decisions that we make that take us away from where we want to be. The chocolate bar that takes you away from at a healthy weight, the cigarette that takes you away from being healthy, the negative thinking that takes you away from being an optimist, the non returned call which takes you away from being a good friend to someone special.
If you can make the correct decisions with one thing in your life, you can make it with anything and everything in your life. Just think about what you want and follow your heart with the decisions that are going to take you there and you will make it. Happy New Year
“You can’t change your destination overnight, but you can
change your direction overnight” Jim Rohn